the “tom boy” in my sister and me. I did everything with my dad. I wasn't scared of anything and I wasn't afraid to get dirty that's for sure. My sister and I had anything a kid could ask for: we had bikes, rollerblades, four wheelers, a basketball goal, and we had friends who lived walking distance from our house so we never got bored.
When I was about 11 or 12 my mom and dad were getting a divorce. It really tore my heart into when this happened. So, during this time my mom, my sister and I went to stay with my aunt and cousin. This is when I started misbehaving as of not listening to my mother, back talking her, ect.... I was really upset with her because I wanted to be with my dad but I didn’t understand why I couldn’t. After we moved back into our house I started smoking and stealing from my mother. I would steal my mom’s nasty merit 100's by the singles so when I got good at that and getting away with it I started stealing them by the packs. I would sneak off and hide to smoke them. I would then steal any cash that I could find from her purse to get someone older than me to buy me packs of cigarettes. But for them to buy me cigarettes they would either buy them self a pack too or just keep the change.
Not much longer after I started smoking one of my friends began getting into mischief. We would go and steal her dad’s alcohol and ride off on our four wheelers and drink until we were pretty wasted. We then would go back to my house and sober up. Our parents never found out about this happening because we would always plan it out around my mother’s work schedule. All through my Jr. High School year at Ward Three I made good grades. I was a cheerleader for three years there and I never failed a grade. I was a really flirtatious girl and I loved the attention from the guys. I loved to tease them to get them to do things for me. I was afraid to have sex but I never let them know that. My friend and I were the only two girls that all the guys liked to be around (GO FIGURE). So, in between smoking, drinking and being addicted to attention we “thought” we had the life.
At the age of 14, I was dating a guy who I was just head over heels about. He was older than me, he had a truck and a job. I then lost my Virginity to him only at the age of 14! (Wow) about a week or two went by and we had split up. Once again, my heart was torn. So, what did I do? I turned to alcohol and guys to fill the emptiness I felt inside. By this time, I was going to parties, smoking, drinking, and having sex. Then I met another guy who was 17 and I was 15. His family was not a rich family and they always had people in and out of their house. One night he and I went out to a party with some of his friends and that’s where I was introduced to marijuana. One hit of that stuff and all I remember of that night was that I couldn’t quit laughing at everything and then I got really hungry and then I woke up. I continued to smoke it and I loved it I just knew that this was the answer to my sadness because it made me laugh it made me happy.
Then one night he brought me to a hotel and he brought me the marijuana but I noticed that he wasn’t smoking any he was smoking something that was different. He told me that it was meth that I shouldn’t try it. So, I didn’t. That night anyway. A few weeks went by and we were at one of his older friend’s house and there were a few older people there and they all were smoking meth. So, I was like; well, I don’t want these people to not like me so I asked my boyfriend to come into the next room and I asked him to let me try it so he let me and when I tell you the first hit I felt like I could run through a brick wall and not get hurt I meant it. That’s the way I felt. I WAS HOOKED. At the age of 15.
Well at the age of 16 I was skipping school in my high school year, smoking cigarettes, smoking marijuana, and smoking meth. I drank alcohol also but not as much now since I started smoking meth. I then became violent towards any one that even looked at me the wrong way. My hurt turned into anger. I then became pregnant during my second year of my freshman year at the age of 16. So, I quit school. I then quit doing all drugs for nine months (God was trying to save me) even cigarettes. I was sober but my boyfriend was still getting high and when I wasn’t high he didn’t want to be around me and started to cheat on me. It drove me crazy. I wanted to lose the baby but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Well, after nine long hot miserable months I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Julia Potter. The
moment I saw her I knew what I needed to do to be the best mom I could be to her. I got a job and my dad bought me a trailer for me and my daughter to live in, and yes, I was still with her father. I couldn’t bring myself to leave him because I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to raise my daughter by myself.
When Julia was just a few months old I started back smoking meth because I was so tired all the time having to get up and feed and rock her when she woke up at nights. (POOR EXCUSE) After a few years went by Julia was about 4 or when her father got caught up in trouble and went to jail for a year. So, during that year I had to raise her on my own (Gods Working) So I left her father. I worked my butt off with different jobs to keep lights on and food in her belly. We were happy.
I then had gotten a baby sitter one day to go four-wheeler riding in Calhoun. When we got there a group of us was riding and had gotten into an accident. I ended up with second degree burns on my back side bad road rash. I also ended up breaking my shin bone so I was on crutches for a few months. Since I was on crutches I couldn’t work so I lost my job. While I couldn’t work I ended up needing to pay bills but I had no money so I started to stress really bad and my mind started to think about how I could make easy money soon….. I knew someone that needed a ride to go across state line to go pick up some drugs so I said if you pay me enough I will take you. Well he jumped on that deal quick. From that day forward I ended up running dope up to several ounces at a time. I was getting paid probably $500 and I was getting high every time we went so I thought “well this is pretty easy money."
After several trips, I started using meth in IV form and when I did this that was it for me. I lost my self and I gave my life to the devil. He had me wrapped up. I used the needle for almost 2 years I believe. I don’t remember everything or how long some things went on. All I do know is that I stayed pretty messed up all the time. My daughter was 5 when I started doing the drug that way and 4 years flew by. One day I was at my house and I remember going to sleep and waking up to all kind of people in my house and I was asking them what they were doing they were like we couldn’t wake you up. I was asleep for two days straight never awakened to use the bathroom, to drink anything and they were all shaking me and yelling my name and I never knew it. From that day, I decided I wanted to get off the needle. It was hard but I did it. (Thank you, Jesus, for helping me) but I didn’t quit doing meth I just started smoking it A LOT. A year went by and I never picked it back up. But I met another guy who was a dealer and he helped me out a lot with my house and took care of me. But in this relationship, I had my heart blocked to him and I wouldn’t let him love me. We were together for several months and fought all the time. There were times where we would get in so big of an argument we would pull out our guns and shoot at each other.
On February 16, 2016, we were caught together by the police and were arrested for distribution of meth and illegal carry of a firearm. We were booked into FPDC. I wasn’t mad for some reason. I knew deep down I was wanting to quit everything
I was doing I just didn’t know how to. (THANK YOU LORD) Well about two weeks went by and my step mom told me that someone was going to come talk to me. Some guy. Well that guy was Whit Bass. I was confused when he first started talking to me. Why? Because he started talking to me about the Bible and like I said at the beginning I went to church but never paid any attention. I heard stories about God and stuff but as a kid I just thought it was make believe. So, I never believed. Well to continue. When Whit was in the jail talking to me and telling me a story I was listening but didn’t understand it. So, Whit had to show me. He asked me if there was anything he could pray for me about. I had these knots on my wrist that hurt all the time I had them for months and sometimes I couldn’t even grab things
sometimes. So, he placed his hands on my wrist and he began to pray. I started to cry and I didn’t know why. When he left out of the room they come and got me from the little visitation room we were in and walked me back to W dorm. By the time the door shut behind me I looked down at my wrist and my knots were GONE!!!!! No pain, No knot!! They were gone. I knew right then that there was a God.
I then started to read my bible a little bit and my prayer book my cousin had given me.
The next day I called my step mom and told her what had happened. She was amazed and then she told me that she had gotten a phone call saying that there was a bed available at teen challenge in Minden Louisiana. I am so thankful that God put Whit in my life to show his love for me. (God’s Love) Whit helped open my heart to the Lord and to let Him be able to get in and change it. So, I got out of jail and went to Minden. There is where I really was shown how much God loves me and they helped me get out of my old ways and step into the light. My eyes are open now to where when I looked at my past I saw where God was helping me and saving my life and he was trying to tell me things. There was no way I could have quit the needle on my own and still be sober today without him.
I give all the Glory to God for changing my life and putting me where I needed to be. I have been sober for 1 year now from drugs and cigarettes and I love to go to church to hear what God has to tell me. I pray to him every day and thank him for what he is doing in my life. I have a Job that I love and I have my daughter back in my life (who holds me accountable) and I am now so very excited to say that I have been invited to go to Nicaragua on a mission trip with the Richland Parish Celebrate Recovery Team and give back to others what God has given me. I am going to be able to show Gods love for them. Thank you so much God for everything that you have done and continue to do in my life. Thank you for being so great, kind, and merciful. Thank you for your love. Thank you for being with me every day. I love you in Jesus name, AMEN!
“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13